Where I’ve Been

You wanna hear a really obvious statement? Life gets really busy sometimes.

My life has been super busy lately, let me get you up to speed.

As of right now, I work two part-time jobs, one as an early morning custodian at BYU, (4am-8am baby! Sleep is for the weak!) and the other as a Deli Clerk at Day’s Market, a local grocery store. (SCHLICE SCHLICE) On top of that, I’m taking a couple of classes at BYU still. Only like 6 credit hours though so not totally insane, just partially. Also I’ve started writing pitches in an attempt to get a few freelance writing jobs, figured I should actually try and make money at this at some point right? With all that the few spare moments I have left over I try to make sure that I’m spending enough time with my wonderful and lovely girlfriend Lindsay.

This leaves just no time to do much of anything, let alone sit down and try to write blog posts that aren’t absolute trash. Now should be the time where I present some sort of remedy for this problem, but frankly, I don’t have much of a solution worked out. The best I’ve come up with so far is to get back on a regular sleeping schedule, but anyone who knows me knows that me and sleep have just never worked out. We’re like Ross and Rachel, one of is always pining for the other but it’s just not gonna work out. Maybe it will one day, I haven’t finished Friends yet so I really don’t know. I’m just trying to use the references now that I actually know them. (I wonder what the equivalent of “WE WERE ON A BREAK” would be in this analogy? it was only a nap? I don’t know, probably stretching it too far)

There is something I can promise for sure though. If and when I do manage to find some time that isn’t dedicated to something else I’ll be sitting in my chair, slapping away at my keyboard to try and write blogs. Just be aware that because of time restrictions I won’t have time to research anything so I’m just gonna have to write about what I already know really well. So lots of movie and League of Legends ramblings are coming your way! (YAY everyone loves league of legends!) Later!

Important Q’s About The Bachelor of Provo

So the universe hates me and I wasn’t given a new episode of The Bachelor of Provo to dissect, but I’m determined to keep doing write-ups on this show every Monday. So in lieu of having a new episode to talk about, I’m just gonna ask some questions that I think could have a pretty big impact on the outcome of the show. I’m aware that I’m probably taking a reality show based in Provo too seriously, but what else am I going to do with my time? Something healthy and productive? LAME

Just to prove how way too seriously I’m taking this show here’s a fun fact. The average age of the remaining contestants is 19.3. Am I out of control? Whose to say? (I am)

When we’re introduced to Collin he states that he’s never been in a real relationship, first and second dates only. Combine that with the fact that he’s young and fresh off of his mission this leads me to ask, “Has Collin had his first kiss yet?” It’s entirely possible that he hasn’t right? If he hasn’t that can totally change the game, it would give a huge advantage to whatever girl can grab a smooch from him first. It would also pose a real risk because if a girl tried to force that moment (ya know that’s gonna happen) it would probably spell the end of their run on the show. A huge opportunity just sitting there if someone can navigate it properly.

I’ve also come to believe that another enormous opportunity is waiting for these girls. Collin is a recently returned missionary who hasn’t adjusted back to ordinary life yet, whoever can genuinely make a spiritual connection with him is going to have an HUGE leg up. Despite the use of all caps, the real keyword of that sentence is genuinely. Can they do it though? Can they connect with Collin over the gospel? Much like the kissing thing if someone tries to force a spiritual moment to happen it’s going to blow up in their face worse than that time Dwight used an insecticide grenade. I obviously can’t be certain of this, but I’m guessing that none of the girls on this show are return missionaries themselves. Pretty much because if any of them were then they would’ve brought it up when Collin talked about his mission. (which they all pretty much asked about) Shame, that could’ve been a huge boon for someone. Perhaps it’ll be like this show’s version of a twist, “Gotcha, turns out I served a mission and it was also in Argentina Collin!” *Audience collectively gasps*

Another big advantage these girls could give themselves is to stop chewing freaking gum while on camera. Who thought that was a good idea? Whoever it was fire their sorry butt it’s awful. Hopefully, they fix that in episode 2, but we’ll only know on the 25th when it airs. Until then I’ll just stare at my wall or something. Later!

Photo credit to @TheBachelorofProvo Instagram, check it out!

Hot Takes: 2019

I did this sometime last year and I want to try and make it a yearly effort to just throw a bunch of hot takes out there. I want to do this one because it’s fun. Two, because I often make myself out to be an authority on whatever I’m talking about (and sometimes that is the intent) but mostly I’m just speaking from my perspective and my opinion really isn’t any more valuable than anyone else and what better way to demonstrate that then to just throw a bunch of potentially bad opinions out there. Three, Hot takes often spark some sort of conversation and I thoroughly enjoy those types of conversations. So let’s get spicy!

Hot Take #1: The Greatest Showman still sucks. I’ll admit that I’ve come around on the music (mostly) but my goodness the rest of it is just so boring.

Hot Take #2: If you cook your steak well done or refuse to even try sushi because anything not thoroughly cooked is scary, you are a coward who doesn’t understand how to enjoy the food. I didn’t think this was that hot of a take but I’ve talked to more and more people in the past year who refuse to eat steak if it isn’t well done and I’m just saddened by that.

Hot Take #3: Being single is objectively worse than being in a relationship and single people constantly spread “fake news” about it being the other way around. I don’t blame you if do say that, I used to spread this erroneous narrative myself, but remember you’re lying to others, and to yourself when you speak these lies. Don’t give me this, “but my independance!” nonsense. Millions upon millions of people want their independence as well as a relationship, find another one of those people and start dating them. Maybe I’m biased on this one though…

Hot Take #4: In-N-Out and Little Ceaser’s are basically the same thing. Cheap food that’s good for its price point but entirely outclassed by anything even slightly more expensive. (I know I bash a lot on In-N-Out, but it’s way too funny to me how upset In-N-Out fanatics gets when you dare question its supremacy over the fast food game.)

Hot Take #5: Cable news in its entirety isn’t worth watching, at least in the US. This probably isn’t even that hot of a take, but all of the cable news networks are pretty much garbage. CNN and MSNBC dramatically overhype things, Fox basically just says nice things about Trump regardless of what he’s actually doing and… is there actually anyone else? At least anyone else that people actually watch? Don’t think so and frankly I don’t care.

Hot Take #6: Black Panther was the most over-rated movie of 2018. DISCLAIMER! I’m not trying to discredit Black Panther’s cultural significance, in fact, I think it’s fair to say it was the most significant movie of the year, but when you look at the nuts and bolts of it all, its a barely above average Marvel movie. Infinity War is a better movie, so is Thor: Ragnarok, Doctor Strange, Winter Soldier, Iron Man 1, Avengers 1, Civil War, and both Guardians of the Galaxy movies. That’s 9 of the 20 released so far. It’s smack dab in the middle. FIGHT ME.

Ok, that’s probably enough hot takes for now, and I have a feeling the Black Panther one is sure to get some people riled right up. Later!

The Bachelor… of Provo

There’s a new show in town that I just have to talk about. The Bachelor of Provo. Yes, it’s exactly what you think it is, take the classic (not sure about the use of the word classic there) format of the hit reality show The Bachelor, transplant it into the Provo dating scene and wait for the magic to unfold. I’m officially obsessed.

Some of you might be thinking that I’m going to be railing against the show, making fun of it and using it to showcase what I think is wrong with dating in Provo.

Wrong.

I’m getting on board with this thing. I’m embracing it. I will be beginning a weekly series recapping and giving my thoughts on each episode as they come out starting today with the premiere episode. Not much of what I say from here on out will make sense if you haven’t watched it, so check the link here for all the glory! (Be aware it’s a 40-minute episode so make sure you have the time to watch the whole thing.)

Before I really get into it I do have to level one major criticism at the show. The lighting is just awful. If you’re thinking of starting a show and using the regular incandescent bulbs in your house/apartment do everyone a favor and throw your camera in the garbage. Or buy a proper lighting setup, you can get decent ones at amazon for like 50-60 bucks, and trust me they make a huge differance.

Ok, with that out of the way we can get into the meat of this thing. The show starts with what I can only call a skit showcasing the woes of being a dude trying to date in Provo. Sure some people will label it cringy, but honestly, if you need something to set up the premise of your show this works just as well as anything else would.

At the end of the skit we’re introduced to our beloved host, Remington, and we get a real good look at just how bad the lighting situation is. Sorry, but its just bad. Remington gives us and the Bachelor, Colin, a pep talk and we roll the intro sequence. Not gonna lie, I think the intro is really good, the lighting is much improved, the camera movement is nice, but I have a feeling it is because it’s mimicking the original show. (Can’t say for sure I’ve never watched the real thing.)

So let’s talk about our Bachelor. I think one of the really smart things about this show is actually the choice of Colin as the Bachelor. He strikes me very much as an everyman kind of person. He embodies the idea of the average guy in Provo, and I mean that in a nice way. The fact that when he’s talking about what he looks for in a girl he says, “…someone I can have a good discussion with…” really lets you in on how fresh off of a mission he is though. It’s a classic missionary word. Otherwise, he seems like a decent, nice, normal guy. You know except for the fact he’s on this show, that’s definitely not normal.

Now it’s time for the girls since we started with like 22 girls I’m gonna have to go really fast through them. Also, to these women who happen upon this, please note you signed up to be on a show where 22 of you try all simultaneously date one guy from Utah. It’s watered down polygamy and I’m gonna make jokes about it. Buckle up. It’s nothing personal. Except it is, sorry.

McKenna: Basic Provo girl.

Aubrey: Whenever I hear someone say, “I’m super sarcastic” I’m just a little doubtful of them. Maybe that’s just me being elitist about how sarcastic I am, but those who know me know I earn that title of sarcastic every bloody day.

Julianne: Bringing snacks is a bold move, and I respect that.

Lucy: Basic Provo girl. (Even if she’s from Hawaii)

Maddy: Oh yikes, going down the whole, “I knew him growing up” is just a bad idea. Lucky for her he does remember her, but still a bad call if you ask me.

Annalee: She leads off by saying she’s looking for a family man, and I just feel like if you’re trying to date a 20-year-old that’s a good way to terrify him.

Megan: She says she’s not your typical Provo girl, which means she’s your typical Provo girl.

Bailey: This is just mean of me, but she bobs her head everywhere while she talks, just stop please.

Kate: This girl says nothing about herself, so I’m going to assume she’s in the Illuminati.

Abby: Basic Provo girl.

Molly: She’s got a real quiet demeanor about her, which makes me wonder why she signed up for the show.

Hannah: Basic Provo girl.

Keli: Hey she’s got a real in with the whole sharing a class together thing. Curious to see how far she can push that.

Rachel: I really like her glasses, but her wants from a relationship seem contrary to the idea of being on this show.

Sarah: Basic Provo girl. Her force of attraction joke is also corny as it gets.

Maddy G: Yikes. Any girl that refers to herself (even in a joking manner) as a dime is probably too into her own looks for it to be healthy.

Annali: Bringing her own roses? Not so sure about that one… Also another self-made joke about how good looking they are, doesn’t bode well.

Eva: What is that dancing? That’s some ish my girlfriend does. Which obviously means Eva’s cool… (You’re beautiful Lindsay!) Although the dancing goes on like 10 seconds too long.

Shannon: Basic Provo girl. Also her math jokes falls so flat it hurt my soul. Practice your routine girl.

Sabrina: She likes to write which means I’m biased towards her, but otherwise she seems like a basic Provo girl.

Elena: Accent is like a get out of jail free card for the first round of this thing isn’t it?

Kaitlyn: Guitar? Get out of here. Like really. Are you gonna play Wonderwall next?

So there are the girls, I could talk a bit about the 30 second dates they all go on but this thing is long enough and they all ask the same questions which was super boring so onto the rose ceremony!

Hannah, did I say you were basic? My apologies, that shade you were throwing after getting eliminated was straight fire! This is the kind of thing I desperately wanted in this show. Real talk though, dropping that level of salt and then saying, “not mad” is equivalent of two dudes making out with each other and then saying, “no homo”. Also only doing two exit interviews is kind of lame, I wanted drama!

I guess I should make some predictions at this point. Elena will be the one most hated by the other girls because they got nothing but envy for that accent. Annali will be the villain, she’s just got that vibe around her and she got that mad beef with Elena over the impression rose. I knew I came down hard on Maddy and the whole “I knew him growing up thing.” but I can’t lie that it gives her such a huge edge early on and I think she’ll ride that lead out to a win on The Bachelor of Provo.

I think that’s all I can say about this show, for now, I’m excited to keep watching it and hopefully, you all are excited to read what I have to say about it each week. I promise next week will be more brief, with intros and everything there’s just so much to go through. Later!

The photo used is not mine, it belongs to @TheBachelorofProvo Instagram, give them a follow or something.

5 Least Favorite Movies: 2018

2018 was a pretty great year for movies, but even in this sea of greatness, there are surely a few turds floating about. I hope and pray that you all missed these movies, but if you had the displeasure of seeing them, I guess we can get some satisfaction by mocking them together.

#5: 7 Days in Entebbe

I won’t lie to you, I really wanted to like this movie. Rosamund Pike and Daniel Brühl are two of my favourite actors and I always want to see them succeed. This movie is just not very good though. Like it’s that bad either, but it is remarkably mediocre in its execution. I do think that Brühl and Pike’s performances are worthwhile, but everything else is just below average and the action sequences are honest to goodness pitiful. Like you could probably scrounge up some random film students who could piece a better action scene together. They’d also do it for a whole lot less money. Hollywood take note.

#4: Red Sparrow

Do you know what I remember about this movie? Jennifer Lawrence is in it, the writing is really bad and just like 7 Days in Entebbe holy crap is it boring. I think I said this when I reviewed it, or maybe I tweeted something about it, I don’t remember. What I said though was that for something with as much violence, sex, and betrayal I can’t believe how unengaging this movie was. It’s just boring all the way through, like eating a whole loaf of white bread, it’s edible, but you just know there are a million ways to make it better.

#3: Gringo

I won’t lie, when I went and saw this movie I had pretty low expectations. It’s a comedy about weed essentially, you’ve seen what Seth Rogen makes, something like that. Here’s the big problem with that though, if your jokes aren’t funny, the whole movie just falls apart and Gringo isn’t funny. I sat and watched this movie silently with the occasional break to chuckle to myself. Do yourself a favour and watch a clip of Pineapple Express on Youtube, it’s 100x better than anything Gringo had to offer. Seriously, this could have been a really funny movie, but an endless series of half baked (pun intended) jokes leaves it thourougly lacking.

#2: The Happytime Murders

This movie has a cool premise, puppets are real people and interact with the world. What does that world look like? However this movie takes the premise and totally throws it to the side in favor of telling horrifically raunchy jokes severally lacking in creativity, intelligence, or any sense of decency. This is a movie that decides to tap into the most depraved parts of the human psyche, but since its puppets doing it its funny right? I think if I had walked into this movie expecting to be horrified and disgusted I would have actually said it was a good movie because it does those things quite well. However, it called itself a comedy so I have to judge it as a comedy and in that sense it stinks big time.

#1: A Wrinkle in Time

I really had to debate with myself for quite some time about whether this or The HappyTime Murders was the worst movie I saw in 2018, ultimately I decided that this enormous piece of garbage was the absolute worst. This film has exactly one redeeming quality, sometimes the CGI looked really neat, sometimes. Everything else about this movie just fell flat on its face if you ask me. Acting? A Wrinkle in Time is a perfect case example of the risk of child actors because some of them just suck at this. (Remember its not the kid’s fault, they don’t have enough formal training to be blamed if a child actors performance is bad, it’s on the casting director and the director) The story? Totally lacking. The book this film is based on has some heavy Christian themes that were removed for the movie, and that’s all fine. You just have to replace it with something, and A Wrinkle in Time the movie didn’t, which left the second half of the film feels much like an empty void. Which is like a really bad thing in a movie, in fact, its the worst thing, you should always feel something in a movie and that feeling shouldn’t be a mash-up of boredom and frustration. The truth is that A Wrinkle in Time is just plain old empty filmmaking.

Ooof, sometimes it feels bad to come down on something you know people worked really hard on, but that’s life, isn’t it? Oh who am I kidding, I enjoy ripping on bad movies just as much as I enjoy praising great movies. I feel pretty ok about that though because these pieces of crap took two hours of my life, so I want to try and get something back from them. Later.

5 Favourite Films: 2018

Another year has come and gone and it’s time for me to put up my lists for favorite films from the past year!

YAY!

This year though I have to make a confession. I didn’t see as many movies as I normally do. Something about actually getting a social life managed to eat into a lot of my movie-going time. Unlucky I suppose, but friends are also nice as well.

Still, though, I did end up saw quite a few movies and need (yes need) to talk about them, even though most of them I already talked about. I’ll be going from 5-1 because I can’t give away the secret of my favourite right away, can I?

#5: First Reformed

This is definitely a movie a lot of people didn’t go see, it was a small production with a pretty limited release, but I’m so glad I had the opportunity to watch it. Ethan Hawke gives one of his best performances as the tortured priest of a small congregation in upstate New York. I’m not afraid to admit that I have a lot of personal bias towards liking this film. It deals with subject matter very close to me as Hawke’s character struggles to reconcile his faith with the tragedies of the world around him. There are sections of this film that are deeply uncomfortable, but I appreciate this movie for having the gall to go there.

#4: Love, Simon

Yeah, the campy teen rom-com about a gay kid is in my top five of the year. What are you gonna do about it? This movie is spectacular, it’s fun, heartfelt, and well-crafted. It manages to stay relatable to an older audience without making it’s characters feel out of place. They feel like high schoolers, I mean don’t get me wrong there are a few moments that are just spectacularly cringy, but I think that was intended, because high school as a whole is a pretty cringy experience. It’s got big goals for itself and it meets those goals almost effortlessly.

#3: Spider-Man: Into the Spider-verse

Gah! This movie was just awesome. The animation is almost perfect, (there are a couple of times that it didn’t really vibe with me, but that’s mostly me nit-picking) the casting is beyond brilliant, the story is engaging, heartfelt, and really funny. Into the Spider-verse, along with Guardians of the Galaxy, is proof that with love, care and skilled filmmakers even the weirdest parts of superhero stories, like the existance of alternate dimensions and corresponding spider-mans can be made into a fantastic films.

#2: Upgrade

Alright, back to the kind of movies you’d expect me to rate really highly. Upgrade is a dark, gritty and violent revenge thriller that absolutely no one saw. It’s a surprisingly great performance by the lead, Logan Marshall-Green who blends the line between grief-stricken husband and curious avenger remarkably well. The plot stays just interesting enough that you don’t get bored without getting too convoluted to confuse you. It finds this nice happy place so that people focus on the incredible action and camera-work rather than getting caught up in the nitty-gritty details of the story.

#1: Green Book

I’ve pointed out a few times on this list how impressed I was with the performances given by these films. Green Book stands out to me in part because it presents not one, but two phenomenal performances. Can we all just agree that Viggo Mortenson is just the best and that Mahershala Ali just oozes brilliance on screen? This movie just works so well and it’s mostly because of the brilliant chemistry between these two actors. Not to also mention that it’s got a tight well-written story that keeps things going at a wonderful pace. If I were to make any complaints about this movie it would be that it ended.

Ok that’s my list. Hopefully you haven’t seen some of these movies you’ll go check them out. I really think they’re worth your time. Later!

Resoulutions

Oh baby, another year come and gone, and it’s time now to get 2019 going.

…I can’t believe how absurdly corny that sounded. Let me try that again.

2018 is over and it’s time to get our New Year on!

Nope… That’s not it either…

Happy New Year everyone! I hope you’re as excited as I am for 2019?

What am I doing? Is this an infomercial? Goodness gracious…

Screw it. We all know what time of year it is, and we all know because we can read (and if you can’t then… you’re probably a baby and slapping mommy’s iPad somehow brought you here, neat!) that I’m talking about my resolutions for 2019! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GET EXCITED PEOPLE! AREN’T YOU SO PUMPED TO READ ABOUT A RANDOM GUYS PERSONAL GOALS FOR THE YEAR! IT’S SO IMPORTANT THAT YOU READ THIS!

Was that too much? Probably. Oh well, leaving it in anyways.

Ok resolutions for 2019, first and foremost: Continue to push myself creatively into new areas that might feel uncomfortable at first. I really enjoyed getting into a lot more self-reflective and introspective writing in the latter half of 2018 and hope to really continue to do that more in this year.

Secondly: Lose the weight you gained back last semester and clean up your diet. Around septemberish I hit 170 pounds which felt like a pretty solid accomplishment for me, then I ate out way way more and excersized way way less and came right back up to 190. Not okay, gotta get back down and maybe even push myself down to the 160 range, salads here I come.

Third and probably finally: As I work on my outer appearance don’t forget to work on your inner self. I don’t think I’m a bad guy, not by a stretch, but we can all work harder on being better people to those around us, can’t we?

Ahhh Yes, two insanely vague and arbitrary goals I can flip a coin to decide if I achieved next December and one that actually is tangible and defined. Should be a great year, hope to see you all keep reading here throughout the year! later.

Wait Wait I forgot one more resolution. Look into how the whole “selling your soul to the devil for fame and fortune” thing works. Like can I sell half my soul for just the fortune? Sounds pretty good to me, and what do I really need my soul for? Gingers don’t have ’em and they seem to be doing just fine honestly.

2019

I’ve been pretty quiet on the blog this month and thats mostly got to do with the insane schedule that is December when you’re a student (actually that probably extends to anyone, it just feels extra rushed when you add finals to it) but also I’ve been using what spare moments I’ve had to think about and reflect on the year as many of us do.

I’ve been focusing most of my reflection on how I did as a blogger this year and I feel like I can confidently say I did ok this year. I doubled the number of posts on this blog this year, I wrote a bunch of blogs that really felt good about and wanted to write for a long time, but the year was not without its own stumblings.

I really feel like I’ve struggled to write about movies, more so this year than other years. I feel as though that when I did write about movies I got very scatterbrained and wasn’t able to convincingly convey why I thought a movie was good or bad or even why people should see it. I think a big part of my problem was that I kept splitting myself by trying to give a personal take while also sound objective and those two things just do not mesh at all. Going into 2019 I want to really focus more on my personal take on movies, how I connect with the stories, characters and moments. A little less focus on how nice the camera movement is and other stuff like that.

Keeping on the topic of movies I actually want to cut back on how many movies I see. For the past few years I’ve consistently managed to make a hundred odd trips to the movies, while this resulted in me seeing some wonderful movies I might not have seen, it’s also resulted in me seeing some huge turds of films. (I’m looking right at you Wrinkle in Time, gah you suck.) I really like to skip as many turds as possible in 2019 as it comes to films. In the past, it’s been fine because I’ve had a ton of spare time on my hands by not being social at all, but now that time is a less abundant resource (not complaining about that, I love having things to actually do outside of school) I really need to focus on movies I’m truly excited about.

Wow, I did not intend for this post to be so focused on movies, I really wanted to focus on what I will be writing about in 2019, and that’s me. Just me. Not in like a egotistical sense like, “All I want to talk about it me” but rather focusing more on the introspection, self-reflection, and personal opinion that I wrote during the summer and fall of this year. It was fun to write and honestly it was better than 90% of the other stuff I’ve written here. So get ready to take a closer look at Jonny Tollestrup in 2019, or just like don’t read this blog, it’s your call. Later.

Hands

Ok I’m gonna go ahead and be a little lazy today, just going to poke fun at myself quick.

Over the weekend I went up to Temple Square in Salt Lake City to see all the Christmas lights that get put up, I went with a bunch of my friends and my girlfriend. It was a lovely time. If you’re in the area you should really check it out, its a lot of fun. Just be aware that parking sucks this time of year so be patient with all of that stuff.

“Jonny you said you were gonna make fun of yourself.”

I’m getting to it, just chill. Whilst we were up looking at the lights our group came upon a store window with “mistletoe” written on it and after some peer pressure from friends Lindsay and I got a picture of us kissing underneath the writing. Isn’t that sweet? Sure, except for the fact that in the uncropped version of that picture you can see my arm dangling by my side  nice and awkward like, check it out. 

Oh yeah, look at that thing just… what am I doing?

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Ricky Bobby is now my spirit animal.

Why am I writing this post out, I could simply never post the uncropped version and get away with it couldn’t I? Yes, but my last couple of blogs (and surely some future ones) were poking a lot of fun at other peoples dating beliefs and practices and I wanted to remind folks that I’m not so arrogant to believe I am the one great authority in matters like this. I definitely do stuff that makes no sense when it comes to dating and I do a lot of silly things that deserve to be made fun of. So let’s all remember that when I write about dating stuff in the future that 1. I’m not saying everything coming out of my mouth is gospel and 2. We’re having fun here, not reading a TED talk. Ok? Great, later.

Charming Girls and Twisting Words

Ok so yesterday I worked through what I thought was some of the most dangerous thinking presented at this dating seminar I went to earlier in the week. Today I want to be less depressing and focus on some of the more silly things said. Let’s have some fun shall we? Also I think I mentioned this yesterday, but I don’t mean to rag on anyone in particular here, any issues I have are more with the general dating culture here than with any partiuclar individual, so relax. 

I’ll start today off with another quote,

“Women want a prince (or a high-quality man) to charm them until they simply can’t resist him any longer”

Yup, you nailed it, buddy. I mean what women doesn’t want someone who relentlessly pursues them until they simply submit themselves and go out with you. Sounds like true love to me. Maybe I’m not being fair to them right now and twisting their words, but come on! You really don’t have twist things very far to get to where I’m at! Like who uses word like “can’t resist” when they’re talking about dating and doesn’t expect people to give them this look.

If you’re dating life has enough opposition that the word “resist” is the first thing popping into your head than chances are your strategy needs a little refinement.

Now I can already hear my father typing up a comment for this, “Your mother ran away from me the first time I talked to her, I would call that resistance and it all worked out didn’t it?” Yeah, dad, it did, and I’m really grateful for that because otherwise I wouldn’t be here to make fun of you, but I think we can both agree that your situation is more of an exception to the rule than an example that proves it. Generally speaking, if a girl physically runs away from you that’s a sign to pack it in and take the L, make sure you hold on tight to it because you need to learn from this particular L. (Hats off to you dad for being oblivious enough to ignore that though so that I could exist! WHOOOO)

By the way I’m totally comfortable telling that story because I’ve heard my dad tell me it I don’t know… 7 billion times and somehow each time he tells it he owns it even harder than the last time. He’s actually totally unashamed about the whole thing. Honestly it’s one of the things I really like about him.

Back to the seminar though…

Let’s move onto specific terminology used. Hey, if I use the term “Social Proof” what springs into your head? Is it like a piece of paper you have that proves you know how to socialize with people in a non-serial killer way? Or maybe like a mathematical proof that demonstrates why nice guys finish last? Or perhaps its a reference to a term used in a sociological study looking into dating practices? Nope all wrong. Social proof is basically when you have cool friends so girls know you’re a cool person. I’m not a woman so I might be wrong about this, but I’m not currently aware of anyone who entered into a relationship with someone because they had cool friends. Sure I know people who set their friends up with people, but they don’t go on that date and have the girl say, “you’re friends with Billy so I know I should be attracted to you.” Like just… yeesh.

“Princes are able to elevate a princess to the station of a queen.”

Another lovely quote ain’t it? I’m sorry if I caught you off guard with the poetic beauty of it. It’s just such a well-crafted sentence it really des… I can’t keep playing this thing straight. Good lord this thing sounds like they took comments from r/niceguys and just plastered them on their PowerPoint (of course there was a PowerPoint! They’re professionals.) Like the sentiment is actually fine, if you’re a good person then you should be able to make your partners life better, but do we have to phrase it like that? Ladies just imagine for a moment a guy that you’ve been on a couple of dates with, they’ve gone ok but you’re not sure how you feel about him yet, then he drops this line, ” You are a princess, but I want to make you a queen.” If you got any sense it’s just like

There’s more to go through here, but I’m lazy and I’m kinda hoping to stretch this thing out until Christmas break so we’ll go over more of it another time. Later!